We'd Rather Croak Than Be Called These Names!!

- JUTTA and OLLIE

(click on pic to view full size)

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"S" was badgering "P" and me about taking her back to Disney World. Her excuse was that she was just 3 years old when we took her there for the first time, so she "doesn't remember" much of it (yeah, right). For her fifth birthday, we flew down to Orlando, Florida for a long weekend and let her spend her special day with Shamu at Seaworld. At the park, her dad won 2 stuffed frogs for her (a total of 7, including the ones from Animal Kingdom). In the cab on the way back to the hotel, he decided that he was going to baptize the frogs with German names. "S" agreed to it.

"P": (holds up the pink frog) They're brother and sister. I'm gonna name her ... JUTTA.
("J" in German is pronounced as "Y").
I started doubling up, laughing. Upon seeing his perplexed expression, I explained that although "Jutta" is a common female German name, in Ilonggo, "Yuta" means:
Me: (whispers) "Let's f- - -".
"P": Oh shit. Scrap that. I'll think of something else.
(Holds up the green frog) What about calling him ... OLLIE? (short for Oliver)
Me: NOOOOOO!
"P": What now?
Me: That name stinks!
"P": huh?
Me: "Uli" in Ilonggo means "Wipe your ass!".

By this time, everyone including the cab driver was cracking up. Needless to say, the two frogs remain Anonymous to this day.
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Present Day:

From a distance:
"S": (calls out) Mamaaaaaaaaa..
Me: Yeah?
"S": (from the bathroom) I made a poopoo. Can you uli me, pleeeease?