Our Future Neighbor, Goofy

P just got back from a weekend business-trip in Orlando, and he finally announced what I was dreading to hear. He's on the brink of cinching a lucrative job offer and wanted to relocate to Florida for good.
By Summer next year.
...so, what do I say?

"Aaargggh!! NO!!!!".

Ok. So I didn't scream that out loud.
I just didn't have the heart to dampen his puppy-dog enthusiasm
- for now.

"What about the insect bites? You're allergic to stings!"
I played on his phobia: "There's a lot of big spiders there. Tons of them!"
"What about the weather? You can't stand it when it gets too hot."
"What about my work? I don't want to lose my seniority."
I stopped short of flopping myself unceremoniously on the floor and wailing.
"BUT I LOVE NEW YORK!! This is my home! I'm happy here!"

"We'll have a garden". he countered.
(Darn! He knows I love plants.)
"And a pool".
(Hrrrmp! 'Cant swim anyway.)
"There's a golf course nearby."
(Hrrmp! Not interested.)
"Discounted tickets to Disney World".
(Hrrrmp! Been there, did that. 5 times.)
"Great restaurants".
(Patttoey! Likewise, here.)
"Lower cost of living".
(Pffftt! Two words - LESS SALARY!)
"We could get a dog. Or two".
(Bleeah! More poop to scoop.)
"There's a lot of work possibilities there for you. I checked already".
(Excuse Me?!!)

Then he hit my weak-spot.
"There's so many Asian grocery stores there. Specialty food shops. And cheaper prices! Fresh veggies. Fresh seafood. You can cook whatever and whenever you want."
"And I saw a lot of Filipinos walking all over the place, too!"
He added for good measure.
Oh, Maaaaaaan. Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be a losing battle for me?

"Besides, were getting old now, Schatzilien. We need to move on and settle down somewhere."
Ouch. I know our _0th bday (yes, were both Librans) is fast approaching but I have never really thought of myself as "Old".
(But they still check my ID in the clubs! I mentally protested).
Who am I kidding?
Maybe I should have taken that lone white hair I found sticking up on my head like a sore thumb as a sign.

Then S chimed in: "I wanna go! I wanna go!"
"Hey, who's side are you on anyway, kiddo?"
I gave her a twisted, evil eye look which sent her shrieking with glee.

He said his Florida-based "business-partner-to-be" had also expressed a desire to get acquainted with the whole family.
"He's a family man with 3 young kids. He understands that I can't make this decision alone, so he really wants to meet you guys."
Hmmm... A plus-point for this guy who seemed so keen on uprooting us from our messy, but comfortable cocoon.

Whatever.
Grudgingly, I agreed to fly over with the whole family after the Holidays to check out the place - airfare and hotel accomodations compliments of "Mr. Tropicana".

In the meantime, I have more pressing matters to attend to:
a couple of small parties to plan, menus to create, a package to mail, groceries to buy,
and a hot oven to turn off...