Can I Have a Twinkie?

S has never heard of a Twinkie before - much less eat one.

That was, until she saw the movie: Bridge to Terabithia.

Since then, she hasn't stopped bugging me for a taste of Maybelle's stolen treat.

Fitiingly, I came across a newspaper article a few days ago about a new book called "Twinkie, Deconstructed" by Steve Ettlinger. It tells what this cakes' 39 ingredients are made of - plus a few other interesting (to put it mildly) uses of its ingredients.

In the meantime, I finally relented to S' constant pestering and picked up some Twinkies for her at the neighborhood deli.

After a couple of bites, she pushed the plate away, wrinkled her nose, and deemed the gooey sponge as "too sticky, too sweet".

Her curiosity was satisfied.

I gladly dumped the rest of it (Tiffany plate not included) in the garbage bin.

That will be her first and last taste.

Here are five of the snack's peculiar elements:

CALCIUM SULFATE - Extract more water from this Twinkie ingredient, and it becomes plaster. "They just dig it up and put it in a bag, it's that pure." says Ettlinger.

There are four other rocks (including salt and limestone) in the recipe.

GLUCOSE - Glucose syrup in the cake and filling adds bulk and sweetness and helps in browning. But mainly, it keeps the cake moist.

Glucose also adds gloss and pliability to shoe leather, prolongs the setting of concrete and keeps hand lotion moist for years.

CELLULOSE GUM - One of the few ingredients with no real home equivalent, this cooked goop from cotton lends slipperiness to the filling - as it also does to rocket fuel. It's also found in Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa, Starbucks low-fat latte, denture adhesives and ceramics glaze.

PHOSPHORUS - Hard to believe the baking powder that makes Twinkies so light is partially made from the element that puts the glow in tracer bullets and the bang in artillery shells. The author went down 1,600 feet in a Wyoming fuel mine and then drove in a jeep for 20 minutes to see it being made.

POLYSORBATE 60 - Thick cream and egg yolks are nature's way of merging water and fat for creaminess. Polysorbate replicates this, but lasts much longer. The emulsifier is made using explosive ethylene oxide.

Yep, digesting that last info is enough to blow anybody's mind out.

LINK: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/terabithia/

"Far and away the best price that life offers is the chance to work hard at something worth doing." - Theodore Roosevelt

Classic Guacamole...

This classic Guacamole recipe is from DOS CAMINOS' Executive Chef Scott Lindquist.

(priced at $12.00, made fresh to order, good for 2 people)

(Above: home-made, serves 2 adults and a child, total cost: $6 - $7.00).

(Tequilas not included.)

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons finely chopped cilantro leaves
2 teaspoons finely chopped onions
2 teaspoons minced jalapeno or Serrano chilies, seeds and membranes removed, if desired (they're the hottest part)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 large ripe avocados, preferably California Haas, peeled and seeded
2 tablespoons cored, seeded and finely chopped plum tomato (1 small tomato)
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lime juiced

In a medium-sized bowl, use the back of a spoon to mash 1 tablespoon of the cilantro, 1 teaspoon onion, 1 teaspoon of minced chili, and 1/2 teaspoon of salt together against the bottom of the bowl.

Add the avocados and gently mash them with a fork until chunky-smooth. Fold the remaining cilantro, onion and chili into the mixture. Stir in tomatoes and lime juice, taste to adjust the seasonings and serve with a basket of warm tortilla chips.

Avocado Tips:

* Picking Avocados - Dark-green skinned avocados ripen more evenly as opposed to bright-green skinned ones.

* Handling Avocados - To avoid bruising, save the paper-crate coffee cup holder that you get from Starbucks/Dunkin' Donuts and use it to hold the avocados.

* Storing - Let hard avocados ripen at room temperature (approximately 3 - 4 days)

- When in a rush, put them inside a brown paper bag with an apple (approximately 1 - 2 days)

- If not using them immediately, store the ripe avocados in the vegetables/fruits section of your fridge to stop the ripening process. This should extend their use for about one more week.

LINK:

http://www.brguestrestaurants.com/restaurants/dos_caminos_park/index.php

...and Seven Variations

ANGEL'S GUACAMOLE:

Add:
1/2 minced garlic clove
1 tablespoon finely chopped tomatillo

Mash above ingredients with the cilantro, onion, chili and salt.

GUACAMOLE WITH ROASTED PUMPKIN AND GOAT CHEESE:

Add:
1 cup pureed pumpkin or butternut squash cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1/2 cup crumbled goat cheese

ARTICHOKE GUACAMOLE WITH TOASTED PINE NUTS:

Omit the cilantro and add:
1 cup marinated artichoke hearts, chopped
1/4 cup toasted pine nuts

GUACAMOLE WITH CRANBERRY APPLE SALSITA:

1 Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored and diced into 1/2-inch cubes
1/2 bag of cranberries, fresh or frozen
2 tablespoons fresh squeezed orange juice
1 tablespoon orange zest
1/4 cup brown sugar
salt to taste

Heat a saute pan over medium heat, add all the ingredients and simmer until the cranberries begin to burst. Season to taste with salt. Let cool. Fold into classic guacamole.

MANGO GUACAMOLE:

Add:
1 large ripe mango, peeled, seeded and diced (or use another fruit, like fresh berries or papaya)

GUACAMOLE WITH CRAB AND PICKLED JALAPENOS:

Omit the fresh jalapenos and add:
1/4 cup pickled jalapenos (available canned or jarred), chopped
12 Florida stone crab claws, steamed, chilled and cracked (or use 4 ounces crab meat)

Make guacamole recipe above, adding the pickled jalapenos instead of the fresh ones. Place guacamole in a serving bowl and arrange claws around the guacamole, using it as a dip for the claws.

GUACAMOLE WITH CHAMPAGNE GRAPES, SERRANOS AND CILANTRO:

Omit lime juice, use Serranos instead of jalapenos and add:
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 cup Champagne grapes (or seedless green grapes) sliced in half, reserve a few for garnish

Greek Salad

Ingredients:

* chopped Romaine lettuce

* seeded cucumbers, sliced and quartered

*slices of yellow/red sweet bell peppers

*sliced pitted black olives

*thinly sliced red onion

*sliced plum tomatoes

*stuffed grape leaves, sliced in half

Top with crumbled herbed Feta cheese.
Drizzle with Balsamic vinegrette dressing.

*Basic Stuffed Grape Leaves (also called Dolmas or Warak Einab) filling:
Rice, onion, parsley, mint, lemon juice

What's for Dinner?

45-Minute Seafood Dinner

Heat grilling pan.
Wash and pat dry a couple of large Red Snappers. Season fish with salt, ground pepper, and paprika powder. Stuff them with sliced onions, sliced tomatoes and scallions (Optional: thinly sliced ginger). Garnish with thinly sliced lemons. Drizzle fish with olive oil and 2 tbsp. of soy sauce.
On a separate plate, season 1 1/2 pounds of shelled shrimps with salt and pepper.

Wrap fish in banana leaf, then wrap it again in foil. Seal foil edges tightly. Place them on top of the hot grill to cook - about 10 minutes each side.
While the fish is cooking, heat up the wok. Saute a chopped onion, a package of frozen mixed vegetables and 2 beaten eggs in butter over medium heat. Add some cooked steamed rice. Mix everything together. Season with salt and pepper.
Ten minutes before the fish is done, drop a few dollops of butter on the side of the pan and start grilling the shrimps. Do not overcook.
By the time the last shrimp had turned bright orange, the steamed snapper should also be done.

Enjoy...