Collection Business

"With Deepest Sympathy"

Due to the inflating costs of burying a loved one, it is customary at work to start a monetary collection anytime an employee's immediate family member dies. Usually, everyone is sympathetic to the plight of a grieving co-worker and would gladly go out of their way to chip in some dough. A single card would be passed around and people who gave monetary assistance would sign their names and write a short note. For the sole purpose of record keeping, the names of the people and the amount of money they gave are listed in a separate piece of paper. This was to make sure that the total amount of money in the envelope matches the total amount of money on the list. This paper is kept by the person who's in charge of collecting the money.
Collections aren't being done only in cases of sad and tragic situations. We also do it during celebratory events - like retirements or baby showers. A huge party in this person's honor is given on their last of work, in which they'll receive an envelope full of moolah as a proper send-off.
With this said, let me tell you about this lady who became a one-of-a-kind interpreneur when she decided to twist this tradition and turn it into her own personal cash cow. It started when she unofficially appointed herself the "Collector" of the facility . Then she made it her mission to stick her nose in other people's business to find out who's family member had died (if none, then who's gravely ill), who's been out on disability, who's retiring, who's resigning, who's moving to another department, whose being promoted... Demoted... Fired...

It wouldn't have made a great deal if not for the fact that she soon started a collection - after collection - after collection - with surprisingly speedy regularity.

It's like - everytime someone farts, she starts a collection!!

It became so frequent that people started treating her like a walking plague - scattering all over the place everytime they see her walking around with a card.

On top of that, she started "misplacing" the paper which listed the total amount of money that she had collected.

"Why, don't you trust me?"

was the defensive answer anytime she was asked to provide detailed accounting of the money.
Is she for real? Was this woman a Knight In Shin... er.. I mean - a Dame In Shining Bustier with a matching heart of gold - or just a plain low-life thief in disguise?

The final straw came when she recently started collecting money for a death in the family...
of her friend's second cousin....

...in another continent!

By then, people had caught on to her antics and she would often be met by icy stares before she could even pitch her "cause".

I guess this meant that her milk has finally run dry...

My question for her is: Was the chump change worth the cost of her integrity?